If you thought your cabin crew was trained to get you chicken or fish and pour your gin tonic with two ice cubes and a slice of lime, you are wrong.
If you thought your cabin crew was trained to perform a CPR or carry out fire fighting techniques on your faulty note 7, you are wrong.
Your cabin crew is trained during 6 weeks to master the art of applying a lipstick in severe turbulence, draw a perfect kitty line during a decompression, do a french bun one handed after the other one got dismembered in a plane crash and smell Chanel after covering the NY marathon more than 6 times during a 16 hour flight.
The hardest part of the job is not waking up at odd hours or hearing you whine because your travel agent didn’t book you a GFML, not see our relatives for the holidays or being pulled on a flight on your birthday. We can live with all that.
The hardest part of the job is looking flawless all the time. From the moment we step outside our homes in that uniform we know we won’t have a single moment for us. Because once we wear that uniform we belong to them and so does our image.
Forgotten the umpteenth heartbreak because you were barely there. Forgotten the sleepless nights because you are so jetlagged. Forgotten the pain in your back pulling all these carts in and out the galley.
Your image belongs to them and you have no choice than to play the game. Thats why you smile and show these white teeth. Because flight attendants have to always look happy. There is no reason not to be. You’re wearing a flight attendant’s uniform (for chrissake!) and you won’t get out of it until you crossed four time zones and worked 16 hours no delay included. Isn’t that reason enough to be happy?
Carmine red and midnight blue are neither shades of my lipstick nor my eyeshadow. But the very imperfection that I have to hide under my full coverage foundation. Under all that happiness you will find blemishes, clogged pores and dark circles I am bound to hide because you don’t want to complain about how uncomfortable those economy seats are to someone who looks dreadful. If you didn’t get it yet airlines would rather spend millions on grooming than give you wider seats, better food and more luggage allowance for obvious reasons.
It costs less to invest in a red wine lipstick and full coverage foundation than to solve all these technical problems which can get solved with reheated apologies.
I wanted to become a flight attendant because they always look flawless. Only didn’t I know that was the main job. And this is the most tiring part of it.
Your dedicated cabin crew with a hint of hospitality and loads of sarcasm.